When the student is ready to learn, the teacher will appear. We’ve all heard this saying at some point in our lives. But what exactly does it mean? For starters, let’s agree that life is a journey of infinite possibilities–except none of us know what the fuck we’re doing.
We take patterns from our child hood (usually from our parents or guardians) and have adopted them as our own. We then say dumb shit like, “well that’s just the way I am.” NO. It is not the way you are. You are making a conscious choice to be a certain type of way. No one is forcing you to be anyone, it is your choosing. I’m sick and tired of this. It’s time to stop blaming others and time to take ownership of how you’re choosing to live and who you’re choosing to be.
Sometimes the student isn’t ready for the lesson. We’ve all gone to school tired, hungry and aggravated. We weren’t exactly in the best mood to learn but our teachers were still there, ready to give us the lessons we needed to hear in order to pass the curriculum of the class. The same goes for life.
Life is our curriculum and teacher intertwined into one. Except life isn’t going to whisper in the wind exactly what you should do, or remind you when you’re fucking up through the chirp of a bird. This is where your friends and family members come in to let you know when you aren’t doing so well.
Most of the time if you haven’t delved into your self-awareness, you will take this as criticism. This is because truth sounds like hate to those who hate truth. Come on, you know what I’m talking about. That one time you had a “great” idea and your friend gave you some constructive criticism but you took it as hate.
You’ve probably even said or have heard someone say, “wow, what a fucking hater.”
What you don’t realize is that more often than not, when your friends and family members are questioning your idea and telling you how to improve it, or why it will or won’t work, they’re coming from a place of good intentions and love. We may not like to hear criticism but criticism is necessary for growth.
Get Encouraged Not Discouraged
I can remember living at my parents house right after college (I dropped out) and my mom and dad saw me on my Macbook 24/7. Now if you’re a parent or guardian reading this, when you see your kid on their computer all day you probably think they’re wasting time on social media. While I believe a lot of people are wasting their time consuming content, I was doing the opposite–creating it.
I’d been working on my dating advice website, which I sold 4-years later for a good chunk of cash. But rather than ask what I was doing, my mom and dad thought I was rotting away in my bedroom like a banana in a fruit basket. They never asked what I was up to or what I was planning on doing. More often than I’d like to admit, I would get home from the gym and there would be 1-2 job applications sitting on my desk. They’d beg me to get a job and to do something with my time worth while. It was extremely discouraging but I didn’t let it affect my work.
Little did they know I was earning $500-$1,000/mo from my dating website on complete auto-pilot. Now I could have taken those job applications and cries to get a job as hate. I could have gotten upset and lashed out at my parents for not believing in me. But I knew that they did believe in me, they just didn’t take the time to understand what I was working on or working towards. They were simply doing the best they could for me with the knowledge that they had. They were showing me love the best way they knew they how.
Appreciate Those Who Criticize You
Yes, appreciate those “mean” people! They mean well even when their delivery isn’t that well. Some times you’re yelled at when they’re telling you the realest shit you need to hear. These people appreciate you and love you so much that they’re willing to risk falling out with you in order to help you.
T.D. Jakes knows what I’m talking about (see video)
That’s right, they’re willing to risk your friendship or relationship to let you know what you need to hear. It’s sometimes just as hard to dish it as it is to take it because you may lose a friendship or relationship. If you have people like this in your life, keep them around! You don’t want people in your life who always tell you what you want to hear. Those are called imposters. You want people in your life who are going to keep it 100% real with you.
When things get tough, their true strength will show and they’ll let you know what they see. Sometimes it takes the perspective of another to see a situation through an entire different lens. While you should be careful who you take advice from, always be open to criticism. Someone who doesn’t criticize you honestly doesn’t care. It’s only those who are emotionally invested into the relationship you’ve built that want to see you succeed who criticize. Appreciate these people in your life.
Shift Your Perspective
Change will not occur in the physical world of your life until you have changed internally. I know, I drop some spiritual bars from time to time. But really, if you want your external world to change you have to change your internal perspective of how you view the world.
Whenever you get criticism from a friend, family member or colleague, accept it as love instead of hate. Not everyone is out to get you. It’s not you against the world, it’s you with the world. We’re all moving in motion together based off our emotions. If you’re someone who takes things personal, then you probably take criticism as hate. If you’re someone who brushes things off, you probably have a lot of love inside and take criticism as love.
Whatever you are in the inside is how you’re going to receive things from the outside. Love receives love, hate receives hate. It’s all relative. Next time someone criticizes you, accept it and try to learn from where they’re coming from. Take your current lens off and put on their lens. You might just see the world in an entirely new light and open your eyes to something much greater than what you’re currently viewing. The lessons aren’t always enjoyable but so long as you’re open to being the student, the teacher will always appear.
And lastly, don’t take criticism personal. Take it as a lesson to be learned. If something keeps showing up in your life, it’s because life is challenging you to grow past it to level up. And when you ask more quality questions of why certain criticisms keep arising, you’re going to come up with more quality answers and will in turn live a more quality life.